


A Baker's Dozen

by MegLee06



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegLee06/pseuds/MegLee06
Summary: Yixing was in love. Unfortunately, so was his best friend Sehun. A love story in 13 parts.Original Prompt: This is the end. The end of their story. They were never meant for each other. Their paths will never cross. This is now only the end, a story that had never even started. And now, all the hopes Yixing had are gone as he looks at the man of his dreams. The story of them that never even started.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26
Collections: Round 1 of Tales of the Lotus Fest





	A Baker's Dozen

**Author's Note:**

> Be prepared for all of the angst. Hope you enjoy <3

**1**

Zhang Yixing heard the bell above the front door ring, announcing a customer in an otherwise quiet shop. 

“Just a moment,” he called out, setting the dough he had been kneading in a bowl to rest. He tucked it into the dough proofer to let it rise and set the time so he didn’t forget to pull it out later. He’d rather not have to start this process over again, as it took a long time to get right.

Yixing wiped his hands hastily on the apron tied around his waist and made his way out of the kitchen and into the main shop front. The early morning sun filtered through the glass windows and washed the whole room in a soft orange glow. It was Yixing’s favorite part of the day, the peaceful, sleepy mornings of the work week always a gentle coax into the busier hours later. He was surprised to have a customer this early, having only opened to the public forty minutes ago – he had been there for hours already – but sometimes people would stop by his bakery on their way to work, grab a scone or some other pastry to take with them for breakfast. 

There, on the other side of the counter, a man stooped low to inspect said pastries, and Yixing cleared his throat gently.

“Welcome to Jade House Bakery, how can I help you?” 

The man straightened up quickly, as if surprised by Yixing’s presence, and gave a charming smile. He was well dressed for the cold October morning in a maroon sweater and khaki slacks, warm grey scarf tossed around his shoulders and a crisp white button up peeking out from underneath. He ran a hand through the black strands of his hair, smoothing them back away from his face. 

“To be honest, I’m not sure what I am craving,” the man said cheerfully, almost sheepishly. “I’ve passed by this bakery more times than I can count in the last few months but I’ve never had the time to stop in. What do you suggest?”

“Well, that depends on what mood you are in,” Yixing said softly, resting his hands on the counter. “If you want something sweet, the white chocolate and raspberry scones are a pretty popular choice, as well as the cinnamon buns. If you want something a little more savery, the cheese muffins and the poppy seed bread is good.”

“Did you make all of these this morning?” the man question, leaning down to look through the glass once more when Yixing gave an affirming nod. “They all look incredible.”

Pride bloomed in Yixing’s chest at the words. Really, he never got used to people complimenting his food. Baking had always felt more like a pastime than anything, even after his business picked up and started making a profit. He was fortunate to be able to do what he loved for a living, and fortunate that he had customers who appreciated what he created.

“Let me have one of the scones you mentioned,” the man finally decided, shooting Yixing another brilliant smile that felt as warm as the sun. 

“Coming right up,” Yixing said cheerfully, busying himself with fetching the scone and trying very hard not to let the man see his cheeks had turned red. The man was handsome, something Yixing couldn’t help but notice. He seemed kind, from the little bit he had spoken to him, which also went a long way in the attraction category for Yixing. Part of owning a store open to the public was being able to deal with rude customers, but this man had been nothing but polite. 

Wrapping the scone in parchment paper and dropping it into a paper bag, he moved to the register. “Will that be all?”

“I think so,” the man nodded, retrieving a few bills from his wallet and handing them over to Yixing. Once he had his correct change, Yixing handed him the scone with as bright of a smile as he could muster.

“I hope you enjoy the scone.”

“Thank you,” the man replied, eagerly taking the bag and the change before tossing Yixing another winning smile, eyes disappearing with the force of it. “If it tastes as good as it looks, I am sure it’s going to be delicious.”

Yixing tried very, very hard not to blush. He was pretty sure he failed. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and muttered out some sort of thanks, which the man took with a nod before turning to leave. 

“Have a good day,” Yixing called out as an afterthought, and the man turned with a soft smile at the door, throwing up a hand in goodbye before pushing through the door and back into the cold autumn morning. 

Yixing watched as he pulled the scarf tighter under his chin, blocking some of the chill, but the cold didn’t stop him from sneaking a hand into the bag and pulling off a piece of the warm scone and popping the pastry into his mouth. 

The man closed his eyes in delight as he chewed, a smile breaking across his face, and Yixing looked away finally, sporting a grin himself. 

He felt for sure he’d see the man again. Maybe next time he’d even ask his name.

**2**

Most days, there were moments of stillness between the busy spells. Other days, Sehun and Jongdae would come hang out.

Yixing enjoyed his friends’ company. They brightened up the bakery with laughter and chatter. While Yixing had always been more on the quiet side, a man of few words when it was outside of customer interaction, Sehun and Jongdae talked enough for the three of them combined.

And boy, was Sehun on a roll this afternoon.

“All I am saying is I don’t understand why I need to be in this class,” he ranted, sneaking a bite of the banana nut muffin he had snagged from the counter when Yixing hadn’t been looking. Yixing had come prepared for the supposed theft, having set down a plate for him to use. It wouldn’t do to have crumbs.

“I get that my Masters is in psychology, but _Bias, Ethics, and Reasoning_?” Sehun continued, “I feel like I am in a philosophy class.”

Most days, he dragged himself from class into the bakery, the university only a five minute walk from here. 

“What is the difference?” Jongdae deadpanned, resting his hand against his cheek as they sat down at the bar stools on the far side of the counter.

“There’s a lot of differences,” Sehun countered impatiently, taking the seat next to him, their usual posts. “Psychology is about what makes people tick, how they think. Philosophy is more about the meaning of life and some other shit.”

“Sounds pretty similar to me,” Jongdae mused, shooting Yixing an impish grin. He was just messing with Sehun, but Yixing had to admit, it was fun to get Sehun riled up.

“It’s so much more _kumbaya_ than psychology.” He sat up taller in his seat, pinching his face together in what Yixing guessed was an attempt at impersonating his professor. “We must look at the ethics of each and every situation. Are they right in how they responded? Are they wrong? Blah blah blah.”

He rested his head in his hands, not noticing Jongdae taking the opportunity to steal a bite of his muffin. “I just want to get back to the abnormal stuff, like serial killers.”

“I’d be careful about proclaiming your love for mass murderers, Hun,” Jongdae snorted, and Sehun kicked a leg out to jolt Jongdae’s stool, Jogndae wobbling dangerously for a moment before steadying himself on his seat. “I’m serious, you know there is a lot more to your field than studying violent psychopaths. Psychology is studying normal people, too.”

Jongdae glanced at Yixing, gesturing for him to continue. “Help me out, Xing.”

“I agree with Jongdae,” Yixing chimed in, setting down mugs of fresh coffee in front of his friends. “I think the class is good for you.”

“Traitor,” Sehun whined with a glare, but still reached out for the coffee offered. “I was your friend first. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Not when you’re wrong,” Yixing said with a small laugh.

Sehun was Yixing’s oldest friend. Ever since Sehun and his mom moved into the apartment next to Yixing’s family when they were young, they had been inseparable. Despite the age difference (three years did not seem so large now, but then it had felt massive), they hit it off pretty much instantaneously, to the point that wherever Sehun was, Yixing was almost always right there with him. 

Their parents thought Yixing – smart, responsible, mature beyond his years – would be a wonderful influence on Sehun, who was always a bit on the mischievous side. But while Yixing was the brakes to Sehun’s speeding train, keeping it on the tracks and steady, Yixing was also learning from Sehun. Yixing had been a shy, timid child. For years, he tried to stay in the background, make himself a shadow, because shadows didn’t get hurt. But Sehun had pushed him to be more… _there_. To take up more space, or at least enough that people knew who he was, knew what he stood for. He became braver, more ready to share his opinion, willing to try things even if he thought he might fail. Sehun proved time and time again that whenever Yixing did fall, he would be there to help him up. 

Jongdae slid into the group during Yixing’s second year of college, fitting in between the pair like he had always been there, and Yixing couldn’t imagine life without the witty, sarcastic humor that Jongdae brought to the table. He was only a year younger than him, and he seemed to bridge that gap between himself and Sehun when it was needed. Jongdae had a heart of gold underneath all of that sass, and he was just the person Sehun needed to challenge him when Yixing would rather go along with him to avoid a disagreement. 

“I knew this day would come,” Sehun moaned, clutching his chest like he was physically hurt from Yixing’s words. “I knew one day you would turn your back on me, leave me behind in the dust.”

“I could never,” Yixing assured, adding another muffin – blueberry this time – to the plate in front of Sehun, and just like that, all was forgiven. 

“You’re stuck with both of us, I’m afraid,” Jongdae said with a laugh. “Who else would keep you in line? Unless, of course, we found you a man who was up for the challenge.”

“ _Please_ ,” Sehun snorted. “As if I have time to date anyone between exams and dissertations.”

He pointed a thumb in Yixing’s direction as he sipped at his coffee. “We need to focus on helping Yixing find someone first. He’s the oldest. It’s depressing.”

Yixing shot him a teasing glare. He didn’t date much, it was true, but he was far from depressed. In twenty-nine short years, he had managed to graduate culinary school, own - _successfully_ \- his own bakery, buy his own home, and had a handful of great, lifelong friends cheering him on all the while. He was far from lacking, far from needing the companionship of someone else. He wasn’t incapable of dating. College flings had proven that. He just didn’t devote time to actively seeking that sort of relationship, though he supposed he wouldn’t shut down that kind of attention if the moment arose.

Images of the man from this morning flashed in his mind, and his face warmed. No, he wasn’t opposed to the idea of dating again. 

Jongdae’s cackle brought him back to the room. “Oh? What is this? Are you blushing?”

Sehun had caught on too, leaning forward with a leering grin. “Perhaps you have found someone after all?”

Yixing straightened, flustered. Clearing his throat, he shook his head. “I– no, I’m not seeing anyone. There was this guy this morning –”

“What’s your new boyfriend’s name?” Jongdae cooed, making kissy faces as Yixing as he propped himself up on the counter with his elbows, and Yixing had the sudden urge to cram a scone down Jongdae’s throat. 

“He’s _not_ my boyfriend,” Yixing quipped, taking the plates his friend’s had been using and dumping them in the sink, grabbing the dish soap to clean them. He had enough plates for other customers if need be, but he couldn’t stand a mess in the sink. “And I don’t know his name. He was just a customer this morning. That’s all.”

“Was he attractive?” Sehun continued, and Yixing felt his ears turn pink as he scrubbed at the dishes with the dish rag he left draped over this sink this morning.

“That would be a definite _yes_ ,” Jongdae laughed.

Yixing changed his mind. He didn’t need lifelong friends. At least not these two. 

“It was nothing, alright?” Yixing insisted. Because it wasn’t. It was a cute guy in his bakery. That was it. “He was just a customer. He might never cross my path again.”

“With your baking? He will be back,” Jongdae said around a slurp of coffee. 

“Next time he comes into the shop, you need to ask him his name,” Sehun continued, and Yixing gave a shrug, making a dismissive noise in protest. One that Jongdae and Sehun both ignored.

“You must,” Jongdae nagged. “How else will we know what name to put on your wedding invitations?”

This time, Yixing couldn’t stop the impulse to throw things this time, chunking the rag at Jongdae’s head. It caught him right across the face with a wet _plop_ , but instead of shutting him up, it sent him and Sehun both into a fit of laughter.

He fought the blush rising up again at the thought, and thankfully Jongdae took pity on him and changed the subject, turning his attention to the latest gossip he had going on at his workplace. Yixing was grateful; any more embarrassment and he might have spontaneously combusted. 

Despite their carrying on, Yixing knew his friends were right. The next time the man came into the store, _if_ he came back, Yixing would ask his name.

Or, at least, he’d try.

**3**

When the handsome stranger visited his shop again three weeks later, Yixing had already come up with a conversation in his head. He was going to ask how he had enjoyed the scones last time, lead into a question about what he does for a living, and then he’d introduce himself properly. 

But as the man walked through the door, letting in a burst of cold air from outside, the words vanished from Yixing’s mind. 

He had forgotten how attractive he was, the memory of his face fuzzy in his mind despite having dwelled on it for weeks, the memory there but not _there_. The man’s cheeks were red from the frigid morning, his form bundled up in a thick wool coat with a sunny yellow scarf pulled tightly under his chin. The dark wash jeans with sharp looking boots cut a more casual look than Yixing had remembered, but it didn’t diminish any of the man’s good looks. 

He smiled brightly at Yixing as he entered, rubbing his hands together to get warm, and Yixing swallowed drily before attempting his own smile. 

Oh, boy. 

“Chilly out this morning,” Yixing said, before busying himself with the tin of muffins he had been restocking. 

“Yes, it is, but it’s much warmer in here,” the man replied, stepping up to the counter. “I don’t suppose you sell coffee with your baked goods.”

“I do,” Yixing answered too quickly, before clearing his throat and correcting the statement. “I do, but it’s not anything fancy.” And it wasn’t. It was just brewed coffee with some generic creamer and sugar. Most people didn’t buy coffee here, just baked goods. 

“So long as it’s hot, it’ll be fine,” the man responded cheerfully, and Yixing nodded, turning to grab a disposable cup and lid. 

“This is to go, I assume?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I’d much rather stay in the warmth, but work calls.”

Yixing thanked his lucky stars that the other had left him an opening. “What do you do?” 

“I’m an assistant professor at the university,” he answered easily, taking the offered coffee with a grateful smile. 

Yixing hummed in surprised. “You seem awfully young for an assistant professor.” 

“I look younger than I am,” he admitted with a laugh. “I’m commonly mistaken for a student, though I suppose I should find that flattering.”

“Do you not find it flattering?” Yixing mused, feeling a streak of confidence rising up inside of him and trying to ride it out, trying to keep the conversation going. 

“Truthfully, I find it frustrating,” the man chuckled. “Here I am, thirty years old, and still being asked about my student identification card when I try to check out books at the library.”

“I understand that,” Yixing assured. “I’m the same age as you, and I find people are always expecting an older baker to step out of the back to greet them.”

“I am impressed that someone our age would already have an established bakery,” the man said with a sense of awe in his expression. “Especially when the food is this good.”

Yixing smiled in thanks at the comment, didn’t know what to say. There was an awkward lull in the conversation before Yixing remembered he had come there for something other than coffee. “Scones again today?”

“Yes, please,” the man grinned, before tilting his head, “unless you suggest something else.”

“The scones are fresh,” Yixing considered, before pointing to the muffins, “though I tried out a new recipe idea for the muffins this morning. Pumpkin crumb cake.”

“Let me have one of those too, then,” the man said, taking a sip of the coffee and sighing at the warmth. 

He glanced at his watch with a slight frown as Yixing prepared him a bag of the sweets. “If I stay any longer I’m going to have angry Literature students blowing up my email. I don’t really feel like going back out into the cold, though.” 

_Then stay,_ Yixing’s mind whispered, and he shook the thoughts out of his mind. That would be too forward, even for Sehun’s taste. 

“Hopefully wherever you are heading will be warm.”

Yixing rang up the items on the cash registered and took the cash from the other man with a soft thank you. 

“You forgot to charge for the coffee,” the man said as he received his change, looking over his receipt with a puzzled look. Yixing waved him off easily. 

“It’s on the house. It’s the least I can do to help fight against the morning chill.” 

The other man shook his head with a laugh. “Well, thank you. For ‘nothing fancy’ coffee, it’s pretty good.”

“I’m glad,” Yixing said with a soft smile, meeting the man’s eyes as he did. 

Yixing hadn’t looked straight at him before, he realized belatedly. It was a nervous habit of his, where he’d speak with customers but not fully look at them, but he was glad he had not met his eyes earlier, because suddenly he found he couldn’t speak. The man truly was beautiful, his face warm and inviting despite the weather outside. 

“Thanks again,” the man said as he turned, heading towards the door, and Yixing’s brain short circuited. He was supposed to ask his name. He didn’t want him to leave without at least knowing what to call him. 

“I’m Yixing, by the way,” he called out, ducking his head when the other man paused to look back in question. That came out a lot more desperate than he had meant. “Sorry, I know you have to leave. Angry students, and all. But I just thought I’d –”

“Junmyeon,” the man cut him off, giving him a gentle smile in return. “It’s nice to meet you, Yixing.”

“Yeah,” Yixing trailed off, and Junmyeon raised his coffee to him. 

“See you around.”

It wasn’t until after the door closed that Yixing allowed himself to collapse on the counter, head in his hands and groaning in embarrassment at how he had handled the situation. He really had to learn how to talk like a regular human being, and not a bumbling idiot.

But he did it, he silently cheered for himself. He knew his name. 

Junmyeon. 

**4**

“Stop the presses,” Sehun bellowed dramatically as he waltzed into the shop that afternoon, hands outstretched with a flourish in the fading sunlight. 

Yixing raised an eyebrow from where he was, placing fresh scones on the front counter’s cooking rack to rest. He was anticipating the student rush a little later, and his scones seemed to have picked up in popularity as of late. “What happened?”

There were a million possibilities, with Sehun. He could have passed exams with flying colors, or he could have had a fabulous cappuccino at the small shop on the corner. It really didn’t take much to get a reaction from him. So Yixing truly didn’t expect the answer Sehun gave him. 

“I’ve got a date.”

Yixing smiled warmly, surprised but happy for his friend. “Congratulatory muffin?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Sehun groaned, plopping down at the counter and accepting his prize. He hummed at the taste, brow pinched in contemplation. “Pumpkin?”

“Yep,” Yixing answered cheerfully, grabbing a muffin for himself and settling in front of Sehun as he took his own bite. It was good, even if he felt a little prideful for thinking it. But Yixing was full of good energy after this morning’s victory with Junmyeon. 

He’d wait to tell Sehun, could see his friend was bursting at the seams to go into detail about his own stroke of good luck. “Tell me about your date.”

“We are meeting Friday night,” Sehun said around a mouthful of muffin, grinning widely. “He’s incredible. Smart, witty, _gorgeous_.”

Yixing wasn’t surprised. Sehun had a knack for attracting the cream of the crop, and had had the ability for years. 

“Where did you meet?” Yixing asked, chewing his muffin. Perhaps more cinnamon next time, just a pinch.

“At the university,” Sehun started, before resting his chin on his hand with a dreamy expression. “It was like a rom-com. I was in the library and accidentally bumped into the guy, his papers flying everywhere. I helped him pick everything up, apologizing in a hushed voice because that mean lady at the front desk was glaring at us, and then…”

Sehun sighed, voice going even more whimsical. “Our eyes met, and the next thing I know we had moved outside of the library, into that little lounge area in the student center. And we just –” he linked his fingers together, “– meshed, you know? It was an instant connection. After a little while he had to leave for a class, but we exchanged numbers and promised to meet up later. It might as well be true love, written in the stars.”

Yixing chuckled. Typical Sehun. He was prone to fall head over heels in infatuation with pretty much every dating prospect he’d ever had, only for it to die down weeks later after it had run its course. He had tried to speak to him about it one time and warn him not to be so quick to obsession, but Sehun was Sehun. He’d learn one of these days. 

“Well, I hope you got the man’s name with his number,” Yixing mused with another bite of muffin. 

“I did,” Sehun assured cheerfully. “Kim Junmyeon.”

Yixing stilled mid-bite, feeling his throat catch a little as the image of _his_ Junmyeon from this morning filtered through his mind, all soft expressions and gentle kindness.

Surely, it was a coincidence. Junmyeon was a popular name, after all, and the universe wasn’t that cruel. He couldn’t _possibly_ mean – 

Before Yixing could finish his thought, Jongdae had pushed through the door and into the bakery, and Sehun turned to greet him in the same over the top fashion he had greeted Yixing. 

“Jongdae, I have wonderful news.”

“Oh, God. What is it this time?” Jongdae grimaced, plopping into the stool next to Sehun, eyeing the muffins in front of them with intrigue. Yixing handed him a fresh one. “And if you say something stupid like you had the best sandwich ever for lunch, I _swear_ , Sehun, I’m going to clobber you.” 

“It’s better than that,” Sehun said defensively, “though I still stand by that chicken parmesan sub being worth its weight in gold.” 

“Well, get on with it,” Jongdae pushed, taking a bite of the muffin and letting out a soft moan, giving Yixing a thumbs up in approval for the flavor. “Keep this recipe, Xing.”

“I landed a date this weekend,” Sehun crowed in excitement. 

Jongdae rolled his eyes, but grinned at the news, too much of a gossip to not go into further details.

“Is he hot?”

“Of course,” Sehun scoffed with a smirk. “I do have standards.”

Jongdae shot a knowing look at Yixing, because he had seen Sehun’s standards through the years change multiple times, and Yixing tried very hard to laugh, but the sound came out a little strangled. He covered it up with a cough, and Sehun didn’t notice, though Jongdae seemed to have picked up on it. 

“His name is Junmyeon and he is an assistant professor –” Yixing’s heart dropped, “– in the Lit department, and he is drop dead gorgeous.”

Yixing turned away to distract himself with the scones that had cooled as Sehun rattled on, talking about all that he knew of Junmyeon. How Junmyeon had gone to the university and had lived in the same dorm that Sehun had started out in. How Junmyeon had grown up an hour away from them, as a child. How Junmyeon had a pet fish named Blue that was the picture on his phone’s lock screen. 

Sehun had found this all out in a mere thirty minutes, the information coming to him as easy as breathing. 

It had taken Yixing weeks to learn Junmyeon’s name. 

Yixing bemoaned his luck. He couldn’t — _wouldn’t_ — compete with Sehun over a guy. He had known Sehun for too long, was one of his oldest friends, and regardless, Yixing didn’t think he would necessarily win in that department. And it’s not like Sehun _knew,_ he had no idea that Junmyeon was Yixing’s little crush. If he had known, he would have never tried to pursue it. 

He’d bury it. He’d never tell Sehun about this. And who knew, Sehun could go on a date with Junmyeon and realize they were horrible for each other, and then maybe Yixing would be able to work up the nerve to ask him out. Sehun wouldn’t mind, if that were to happen. 

He shook his head at that train of thought. He was as bad as Sehun, putting all of his eggs in one basket. Junmyeon was not an object to claim, and regardless, they’d had two conversations. They weren’t dating. Sehun and Junmyeon weren't in the wrong. 

Yet, Yixing was ashamed to realize his feelings were slightly hurt. It just didn’t seem fair that this was happening to him.

“You good, Xing?” Jongdae called, and Yixing snapped his head around to look at him. He gave the man a smile, one he hoped was convincing, and nodded. 

“Yeah, sorry. Got lost in my thoughts about the new recipe for those muffins. Might need more cinnamon.”

“It’s pretty damn good as it is,” Jongdae hummed, taking another bite for emphasis.

“I would have guessed you were daydreaming about your mystery customer,” Sehun said with a wagging eyebrow. Yixing cringed, busying himself with placing the scones in the counter so he didn’t have to meet his eyes.

“Did he ever come back to the bakery?” Jongdae asked, and Yixing took a moment to gather his answer, weighing his options as he stood fully. This was his chance to be truthful, or his chance to put it past him for the good of the group. 

“No, he hasn’t stopped by.”

**5**

Friday night came too quickly for Yixing, and not soon enough for Sehun. It had been all they talked about all week, much to Yixing’s dismay, because he was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check. 

Which was _ridiculous_ , because this was all over a crush that Sehun hadn’t even realized he’d stepped into. But Yixing was slightly jealous of the date, wishing the stars had aligned for him this time instead of giving him the short end of the stick. He wrestled with feeling sorry for himself and also trying to be happy for Sehun, and as a result he had been a little bit moodier than usual, a little more guarded. 

Sehun, bless him, had chalked up Yixing’s mood to the mystery guy having not come back to the shop. Every day, he’d ask, and every day, Yixing would lie, leading Sehun to curse the man’s very existence. 

_He doesn’t know what he could have, Xing. You’ll find better._

Yixing would smile and nod, but his insides would twist horribly every time. He wasn’t technically lying. Junmyeon had not been back the rest of the week – and what a blessing _that_ was, that he didn’t have to see him knowing he was going to go on a date with his best friend – but it still felt terrible to not be completely honest with the younger man. Sehun would be upset if he knew Yixing had done so, but it was the least he could do. He didn’t want to ruin Sehun’s date.

Sehun was so excited. He was like a kid in a candy store, bouncing in his seat and visibly humming with nervous energy. Jongdae had insisted on helping pick out the outfit – snug grey turtleneck, jeans, and casual boots – and Yixing agreed that Sehun looked rather handsome. He had styled his hair back out of his face, a look Yixing had always thought made him look more mature, and he was anxiously watching the clock tick by. The date wasn’t until seven thirty, and he had been ready since five.

Jongdae, of course, was doing his best to not help Sehun’s nerves. 

“You think this guy might stand you up?” 

Jongdae didn’t really think he would. But Yixing knew he asked just to get under Sehun’s skin. 

“Not a chance,” Sehun answered confidently, though his bouncing knee didn’t seem to agree with him. 

“You sure?” Jongdae pushed, leaning closer to Sehun as he spoke, as if concerned for the other. “Have you spoken to him this afternoon? Something could have come up. Like a more attractive individual.”

“He was very excited this morning,” Sehun insisted, but that only made Jongdae dig in deeper. 

“How do you know?”

“He said so.”

“On the phone, or in a text?”

“What am I, eighty-five? We text,” Sehun scoffed, and Jongdae pursed his lips softly, as if stopping himself from saying anything else. With a noise of consideration he turned his attention to his coffee in front of him, and Sehun glared at him for a moment before speaking. 

“What’s wrong with a text?” 

“It doesn’t show emotion very well,” Jongdae mused, winking at Yixing so that Sehun couldn’t see. “I imagine it would be very easy to misinterpret a message.”

Sehun yanked his phone out of his pocket, shoving the screen into Jongdae's face. “It _says_ he’s excited.”

Without hesitation, Jongdae snatched the phone from Sehun’s hands. Sehun lunged for the device, but Jongdae kept the man at bay with a hand against the other’s face, holding the phone in his opposite hand as far away from the flailing man as possible.

“Ah, he is, it seems,” Jongdae chuckled, scrolling through the messages and ignoring the squawk Sehun let out in protest. “You’ve texted him a bunch. I hope he doesn’t find you needy.”

Sehun finally wrenched the phone from the other’s hands and tucked it back into his pocket, pouting at the older man. 

“I hate you.”

Yixing couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled out of his throat at Jongdae’s cackle, Jongdae throwing an arm around Sehun’s shoulders and pulling him into his side. Sehun wasn’t happy, but leaned into the touch anyway. 

“You know I’m just messing with you,” Jongdae teased, musing Sehun’s hair. “It’ll be great.”

Sehun pulled back, smoothing his hair back in place as much as he could, before turning to Yixing with a genuine expression. 

“You think so, Yixing?”

“Of course,” Yixing said with some difficulty, chiding himself for how pathetic he was being over a measly crush. “If he is as wonderful as you say he is, I’m sure it’ll go well.”

Sehun beamed at his answer, and Yixing felt like shit. He smothered his grimace into a sip of coffee. 

“Yixing and I can always go with you, if you are nervous,” Jongdae assured Sehun, earning a punch in the arm from Sehun. 

“You are not allowed anywhere near this date. He would run screaming for sure if he saw how absolutely overbearing you are.” 

“Or maybe he’d pick me over you,” Jongdae said with a teasing grin, and Sehun flipped him off, glancing at the clock again. Fifteen after seven.

“I better get going,” he said as he stood, smoothing his hands over his clothes. “How do I look?”

“Great,” Yixing chimed in as Jongdae said _dreadful_ , and Sehun sent them one last blazing smile before he was heading to the door. 

“Wish me luck!”

Yixing took the half drunk coffee from the counter where Sehun had left it, dumping the contents in the sink. He was going to let it go. He was going to be happy for Sehun. He was going to be a good friend. 

The shop was supposed to close fifteen minutes ago. Yixing got busy finishing up the cleaning so he could go home and forget about the day. Jongdae lingered, helping clear the counter and bringing his dishes to the sink where Yixing had started scrubbing the dirty mugs. More often than not, Yixing did this part by himself, but sometimes Jongdae or Sehun would stay behind to help. It was always appreciated, but right now, Yixing would rather be alone. 

“You can go on, if you need to,” Yixing assured Jongdae, who gave Yixing a little shove.

“And leave you to the fun of cleaning? I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Yixing heard him walk over to the corner of the room where the lone broom sat, and listened to the familiar _swish_ of the bristles as Jongdae began sweeping the front floor. For a moment, the only sounds were running water and the broom’s gentle scratch against the floor.

“So when are you going to tell him?” Jongdae asked after a little while, and Yixing turned to give him a quizzical look. Jongdae was watching him closely from across the room, dissecting him, and Yixing cocked his head in question. 

“Tell him what?” 

“That Junmyeon is the customer you were interested in,” Jongdae replied, and Yixing felt the blood drain his face. He didn’t even try to hide it, knowing the truth was written all over his expression. He set the mug he was washing down into the soapy water and turned fully to Jongdae.

“How in the world –”

“You’ve been quiet since all of this started, more so than usual,” he answered with a shrug. “I noticed you started avoiding the topic, as well as avoiding talking about Sehun’s date. And while I expected you to not want to go into details about your customer, it’s not like you to not take an interest in Sehun’s dating life.”

Yixing let out a humorless laugh. “Was I that obvious?”

“No, of course not,” Jongdae said, before adding a pointed look. “But I know you, Yixing. I know what to look for.”

It was true. His friends had picked up on his cues, learned how to hear the words he left unsaid. It was sometimes a very useful skill, but right now it felt like a slap in the face. He had hoped he would have gotten away with this without either of them knowing, but he should have known Jongdae would have picked up on it. He always did. 

“Well, Sehun hasn’t figured it out,” Yixing said quietly, turning back to the sink with a small huff. “And I plan to keep it that way.”

“Why?” Jongdae asked, and Yixing heard him approach the counter that separated them.

“ _Why_?” Yixing parrotted. “Because it’s just a crush. It doesn’t matter.”

“Your feelings don’t matter?” Jongdae questioned, and Yixing shot him a deadpan look over his shoulder. Here it comes.

“Jongdae, don’t start this tonight, please.”

“I’m serious, Yixing,” Jongdae continued, ignoring his plea. “You always do this. You put everyone else’s feelings and needs before your own.”

“How is that such a bad thing?” Yixing shot back, hand falling to his hip as he turned the sink off. “Isn’t that called ‘being a good friend’?”

“Friendship is a balance,” Jongdae challenged, cocking an eyebrow in a knowing fashion. “We all have to sacrifice sometimes. You just do it more than your fair share.”

They had this conversation every few years, Jongdae getting more persistent in his stance every time. Sure, Yixing was more of a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, more likely to follow along than to lead, but the way Jongdae spun it made it sound like he let everyone push him around. Yixing didn’t see how being agreeable and flexible was deemed a pushover, but his willingness to stand to the side killed Jongdae. 

Yixing didn’t like how this conversation made Sehun – and Jongdae – sound like the bad guy for getting their way sometimes. They weren’t bad people, they weren’t using Yixing’s kindness for their own gain. Maybe others had done so in the past, but his friends didn’t do that, would never do that. 

“It’s different this time,” Yixing tried weakly, crossing his arms over his chest as he turned to lean against the sink, looking out at the shop instead of at Jongdae. “Sehun couldn’t have possibly known about Junmyeon. And like I said, it’s just a harmless crush. It’ll pass.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Jongdae questioned gently, watching Yixing intently. “It’s obviously bothering you.”

“It’ll pass,” Yixing reiterated firmly, and Jongdae sighed, shaking his head.

“You should tell Sehun,” he said with finality, before throwing his hands up. “But I’m not going to say anything. It’s not my place.”

“Thank you,” Yixing muttered as he looked back at Jongdae, relief washing over him to have won that small victory. Jongdae was stubborn, but he wouldn’t go against Yixing’s wishes, either. If Yixing didn’t want to tell Sehun, Jongdae wouldn’t overstep. 

Jongdae waved him off, going back to sweeping the floor with a weighted sigh. 

“Let’s get this placed closed up. I’m starving.”

Yixing took the opportunity to drop the conversation presented gratefully, and the two fell back into silence.

**6**

Sehun’s date went well. Very well, to hear him tell it. And unlike Sehun’s past suitors, Junmyeon stuck around. 

That first date in November led to more in December, January, February, March. And Sehun was obviously happy, his world consumed by Junmyeon. So much so that Sehun had begun bringing Junmyeon to the bakery with him. Sehun had been shocked to learn Junmyeon had been there before, and Yixing had ignored Jongdae’s loaded look, acting just as caught off guard. Junmyeon, of course, was pleasantly surprised to find Yixing was a close friend of Sehun’s, and bragged over and over about the fabulous food Yixing baked and how inviting the baker had been.

Suddenly, Junmyeon was in their group. Afternoons were not just the three of them, but four, now, and Yixing would be lying if he said it hadn’t stung some at first. Seeing Sehun and Junmyeon being affectionate was just a reminder of what Yixing had wanted for himself, and what he couldn’t have now. 

Jongdae had kept mostly silent about the turn of events, but every now and then he would find Yixing alone and would ask him to consider telling Sehun about the situation. But Yixing insisted it was water under the bridge. He enjoyed Junmyeon’s company, even if he was there for Sehun and not for him. As time went on, Jongdae didn’t pester him as much, which was great. Yixing was better, with time. He was getting over it. 

But deep down, Yixing knew he wasn’t. Because every time Sehun and Junmyeon walked into the bakery together, his stomach would flip, and his thoughts would get the best of him. 

_What if that were him instead of Sehun? What if Junmyeon looked at him like that?_

The couple was obviously smitten with each other. After months of dating, they were in that phase of being comfortable with each other yet still with the excitement of something new. It was in the way Junmyeon would join in on Jongdae’s teasing, or in the way Sehun would whisper something in Junmyeon’s eye and watch Junmyeon flush. Small touches here and there, shared looks of adoration. 

It was sweet. It was sickening. And Yixing was miserably happy for the both of them.

**7**

On a warm spring morning in May, Yixing heard the bell from where he had been in the kitchen and came to the front of the bakery to find Junmyeon standing at the counter. 

“Hey Junmyeon,” Yixing had greeted softly, rubbing the flour from his hands onto his apron, and Junmyeon gave him a cheerful grin.

It never got easier, being in his presence, standing in the brilliance of his smile. But he expected it now, the shock of it having worn off. It was a feeling he associated with Junmyeon, now, a mixture of anticipation and dread. 

“Hey Yixing,” the other greeted, before fidgeting slightly in his spot. 

“Would you like your usual scone?” Yixing asked, gesturing to the empty stool, which Junmyeon took readily.

“Just coffee is fine,” Junmyeon assured, watching Yixing as he grabbed one of the clean mugs from the back cabinet before pouring the fresh coffee for him. He took a sip of the drink after it was set in front of him. 

Yixing helped himself to one of the fresh strawberry biscuits. It was a wonder he had food to sell, with how he sampled and how his friends gorged themselves on every visit. 

They sat in silence for a moment, Junmyeon looking down at his coffee with a contemplative stare, and Yixing cleared his throat. 

“It’s been awhile since you came to the bakery without Sehun,” Yixing noted, watching as Junmyeon looked up at him sheepishly, and he quickly corrected his phrasing. “I just mean you look… thoughtful.”

“Well, I was hoping I could talk to you, actually,” Junmyeon admitted, and Yixing couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Me?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon confirmed, sipping from his mug before looking up at Yixing again. “If that is okay.”

“Of course,” Yixing replied, confused but thrilled that Junmyeon wanted his advice on something. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure how to even say it,” Junmyeon chuckled, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I didn’t really even know who to turn to about this, but you are Sehun’s best friend, and I figured you may know what’s going on.”

At the mention of Sehun, Yixing perked up. He had noticed the man had been absent minded, as of late. He had assumed it was the upcoming dissertation he was going to be presenting, but looking at Junmyeon now, maybe there was something else there.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and Junmyeon hastily shook his head. 

“Oh, nothing, or at least, I don’t _think_ anything is wrong. It’s just…” he trailed off, gaze turning to the window as he gathered his thoughts. “Things between me and Sehun are great. More than great. But…”

Yixing didn’t push when Junmyeon paused, letting him figure out how he wanted to word whatever it was that was bothering him. Yixing, on the other hand, couldn’t help but feel a pang of familiar hope. _What if?_

Junmyeon was breathtaking in profile, brow bunched in a pensive nature, and Yixing was the worst friend Sehun had ever had.

“Sehun has seemed off lately,” Junmyeon said finally, looking back to Yixing with a look that screamed for guidance. “Distant, almost. Not physically, but you know what I mean. I just don’t know what he’s thinking.”

Yixing puffed out a breath, looking somewhere over Junmyeon’s shoulder before turning his eyes back to the man in front of him.

“Honestly, I have noticed it too,” he started, and felt his heart twinge at the worry that passed through Junmyeon’s expression, as if Yixing had confirmed his worst fears, “but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“You don’t think he’s grown tired of me, then?” Junmyeon questioned quietly, before laughing off his words, though Yixing saw right through the bravado and saw that Junmyeon was genuinely worried that somehow Sehun was pulling away. Yixing shook his head with a small smile that he hoped came off as comforting.

“No, I don’t think so.”

He turned to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Sehun does not fall in love easily, but he is so in love with you.”

It was not a secret, nor was it a guess. It was a fact that Sehun loved Junmyeon, and Junmyeon loved Sehun. They were a good match. 

Yixing brought the pot coffee to where Junmyeon sat and offered a refill, one that Junmyeon took readily. Yixing plucked the mug from the counter and topped it off before handing it back to Junmyeon gently, fingers brushing lightly against Junmyeon’s hand as he did so. 

The touch was nothing to Junmyeon, but it was the world to Yixing. 

_Stop it,_ Yixing chided himself internally, drawing in a shaky breath as he leaned back against the opposite counter. “Whatever is on his mind that is making him seem distant is not because of anything you did. I’m sure he is just stressed about his dissertation in a few weeks.”

“Thank you, Yixing,” Junmyeon spoke, giving him a bright smile. “I know I am being foolish for thinking the worst, I’ve just never been quite this happy, and having Sehun acting a little strange has just made my mind turn to the worst scenarios.”

“Sehun is a smart guy,” Yixing offered up. “He knows when he has a good thing going.”

“I suppose he does,” Junmyeon said with a laugh, eyeing Yixing over his coffee. “You should be the psychology major, after having to deal with all of my insecurities.”

Yixing let out a soft chuckle. “I’m no shrink. Just a baker.”

“And a good friend,” Junmyeon added, “to Sehun and to me, too.”

It was hard not to be pained by that statement. Yes, a good friend who pined after his friend’s boyfriend. He was a real winner.

“I best be off,” Junmyeon sighed, standing from the stool after one more large swig of coffee. “I promised Sehun we would meet for breakfast today.”

“I’m surprised he’s awake this early,” Yixing said with a soft snort, and Junmyeon shot him a grin. 

“It was his idea, so he better be awake. Thank you again, Yixing. I’ll see you later?”

“Sure,” Yixing said with a shrug. “I’ll be here.”

Yixing stood in that spot long after Junmyeon left, trying to forget how warm Junmyeon’s skin had been against his own.

**8**

Weeks went by, and Sehun’s absentmindedness didn’t seem to change. If anything, it got a little worse. Yixing was starting to see why Junmyeon had been worried, especially when Sehun had shown up to the shop today by himself. When Jongdae had asked where Junmyeon was, he had muttered something about him having a later office hours with exams coming up, but had said little else, tucking into a danish and falling silent again. Yixing didn’t know what to think of the situation, but Jongdae apparently couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Alright,” he started, grabbing ahold of Sehun’s shoulders to snap him out of his thoughts. “What is with you?” 

“What do you mean?” Sehun asked, and Jongdae repeated the words mockingly.

“You have been reserved and antisocial for a whole month now. Plus, when I asked you about Junmyeon, you barely spoke. What is going on in that thick head of yours?”

Sehun’s ears burned red as he blushed, looking away from Jongdae and looking to Yixing for help. Unfortunately for him, Yixing was just as curious as Jongdae. 

“It’ll be easier if you go ahead and tell us now. You know he won’t take no for an answer.”

Sehun sighed, pulling away from Jongdae and rubbing between the bridge of his nose where a frown had formed. 

“You can’t tell Junmyeon,” Sehun started, and Yixing was flabbergasted. Junmyeon had been right. Something was going on with Sehun.

“Are you going to break up with him or something?” Jongdae questioned, and Sehun looked up in shock. 

“God, no. Why would I do that?” 

“Because _look_ how you are acting,” Jongdae said exasperated. “If you aren’t breaking up with him, then what is going on?”

Sehun hesitated for a moment before relenting, reaching into his pocket to grab ahold of something. When he pulled his hand back out, Yixing’s heart leapt into his throat, and the room felt as if someone had sucked the air right out of it. 

Sehun set the small ring box on the counter, opening it gently to reveal a simple metal ring, two delicate lines etched into the surface and wrapping all the way around like a border.

“It’s tungsten,” Sehun added when no one spoke, Jongdae and Yixing staring at Sehun with wide eyes. “Supposed to be pretty durable. Do you think he will like it?” 

The air rushed back into Yixing’s lungs with an audible hitch as Jongdae let out his own sound of surprise, and then Jongdae had picked Sehun up out of his stool. Sehun, being much taller than Jongdae, looked comical swept up into the others embrace. 

“Put me the fuck down!” Sehun screeched, blushing deeper than before.

“Oh my God!” Jongdae cackled, excitement bubbling out of his chest as he hugged the life out of Sehun. “Shut up, you’re _proposing_?”

“Well, yeah,” Sehun muttered as Jongdae finally set him down, Sehun reaching back to grab the box from the counter. He didn’t put it up, just toyed with it in his hands, but he was grinning widely now. “I know it might feel a little fast, but when you know, you know, right? Junmyeon is incredible, and I can’t imagine spending one day away from him.”

“Is that why you’ve been so weird?” Jongdae balked. “We thought you were having an existential crisis!”

“Give me a break, this is a big step,” Sehun whined. “I wanted to make sure I was ready. Plus, it took me forever to figure out what I was going to buy. Rings are expensive.”

“Our little Sehunnie is getting married,” Jongdae cooed, pinching Sehun’s cheek affectionately and ignoring the curse words spewing from Sehun’s mouth as he did so. “I can’t believe it. I really can’t.”

“Well, he hasn’t said yes yet,” Sehun reminded him, finally tucking the ring away in his pocket. “I’ve been trying to plan a way to do it, but I think I’m going to ask him tonight.”

Sehun looked at Yixing then, youthful bliss written all over his features. “What do you think, Xing?”

Yixing beamed at the other, reaching forward to ruffle the man’s hair. “I’m happy for you,” he said softly, and he was. He was happy that Sehun had found the one. Anyone who looked at Sehun and Junmyeon knew they were perfect for one another. 

He just couldn’t shake that nagging twinge of regret, as selfish as it was. And it was terribly selfish, for Yixing to feel this way. It had been months, and he had been encouraging Junmyeon just this morning to trust in Sehun’s affection. He had been right. Sehun loved Junmyeon.

And Junmyeon loved Sehun. 

“He will definitely say yes,” Yixing added as he turned away, walking back to the backroom and forcing his face to stay in a smile, to not let that lingering doubt creep into his mind. Sehun was going to propose to Junmyeon.

They belonged together.

“Where are you going?” Jongdae called, and Yixing waved him off, ducking through the kitchen door and over to the cabinet in the far corner. When he reemerged in the shop proper, he was holding three glasses and a bottle of champagne.

“This calls for a drink.”

**9**

Junmyeon had of course said yes. There had never been any doubt in Yixing’s mind that he would. 

And so, the planning began.

It was going to be a winter wedding, December, which allowed for only seven months of planning, and so Sehun and Junmyeon had set to work immediately. There was a lot to be done to get ready for a wedding; flowers, a venue, tuxedos (or whatever trendy fashion there was for a wedding now). 

They had nailed down a place quickly, a cozy little restaurant and event hall on the east side of campus, tucked away on the top floor of a quaint little building with a few antique stores on the bottom floor. Junmyeon was a traditionalist, opting for a black and white wedding theme, tones of gray mixed within. Yixing was set to be the best man, Jongdae standing next to him – and promised his own toast, much to Sehun’s dismay – and Junmyeon had already started sending out invitations. It would be a small affair, mostly family and some close friends. It would be personal, intimate. 

Yixing, of course, agreed to make the cake.

It was going to be the perfect way to celebrate their union, every detail was carefully combed over and checked twice. Nothing would ruin such a happy occasion.

Yixing was fine.

**10**

Junmyeon had spun a poetic vision for their wedding cake, one that Yixing found both inspiring and daunting. Junmyeon had pictured a three tiered red velvet cake with white icing, and covered with dozens of snowflakes scattered sporadically around the layers. 

The cake part was fine, Yixing could make a red velvet cake in his sleep. It was the snowflakes that troubled him. Decoration was not baking. It was a part of it, sure, but wedding cakes were a different animal. 

That was why Yixing found himself in the bakery late one night, the wedding only a few days away. He had melted a batch of white chocolate and was currently piping it onto wax paper in the shape of snowflakes, but his hands kept shaking, his lines not pretty enough. 

The few he had managed to get cooled were having a hard time holding their form when he peeled them off of the paper, too thin or too thick, he wasn’t sure. He stuck another disappointing sheet of snowflakes into the flash freezer, hoping this batch would be more what he was looking for. 

He should have practiced sooner, but like a lot of things in this wedding, he had pushed it off until the last minute. He still had a speech to write, after all. Not that Yixing hadn’t tried. He had sat down every night during the last month, intending to write something quick and thoughtful for the husbands to be, but every time he was met with a blank page and a lack of words. 

Yixing started piping another tray of snowflakes, trying to nail down a design he could work with, but every line he drew was crooked, wobbly, and he could feel his frustration building. 

He should be able to do this. Why was he having such a hard time? 

This was not supposed to be so difficult. 

He pulled the snowflakes out of the freezer with one hand, leaving them to settle on the table, and grabbed the second tray to give them the same treatment, but he didn’t give enough room for the frozen tray to balance, and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter. The fall shattered the snowflakes, sending while chocolate pieces scattering across the floor, and Yixing let out a string of curses. 

With a heavy sigh, he sank down to rest on all fours, picking up the pieces one at a time. He would have to mop later, the white chocolate sticking to the tile floor. He didn’t have time for this. He was never going to get this perfected in time for the wedding. 

And to top it all off, it was _Junmyeon’s_ wedding. To Sehun. And while he was thrilled for them both — he was, he kept telling himself, _he was —_ he was also deeply hurt because _it could have been him_. It could have been Yixing who swept Junmyeon off his feet, who got to spend forever by his side. It wasn’t fair —

His vision blurred then, and he belatedly realized he was crying. A laugh forced its way out of his chest, soon replaced by a sob, and Yixing curled over on himself, letting the emotions overtake him. 

Yixing didn’t know how long he sat on the floor, body rocking with sobs, but it was long enough for the white chocolate to melt on the warm floor beneath him. He hadn’t cried this hard in years, but as he laid on the floor, gasping for air and chest burning, he couldn’t stop. 

Eventually he pushed himself up, wiping his hands on his apron as he sat back against the freezer, leaning into the solid structure to help ground him. He sniffled as he let his head fall back, willing his tears to stop and feeling utterly pathetic as he realized what he had been denying for months. 

He was in love with Junmyeon. 

He wasn’t sure when it switched over from a small crush to something more. Maybe when he had joined the group and Yixing couldn’t help but interact with him. Or maybe it was from the very beginning and Yixing had just been too afraid to admit it. He didn’t know, but he knew he loved him. 

And he couldn’t have him. Because he was with Sehun. 

Yixing wasn’t even angry at Sehun. How could he be? His best friend had just been in the right place at the right time, had met the person he was meant to be with. And Yixing had been stupid enough to fall for someone he couldn’t have. 

No, the only person he was angry with was himself. 

**11**

The rehearsal dinner had gone off without a hitch, everything ready for the big day. Yixing would have to be up early in the morning to finish off the final touches of the cake, but when he left the venue that night he turned in the opposite direction of home, letting his feet lead him to a little dive bar down the street. He didn’t feel like sleep just yet, needed a moment to clear his thoughts. 

The inside of the bar was smokey, walls painted a red that was in dire need of a second coat. There were a handful of people huddled in booths, but for the most part it was pretty empty, the only noise a jukebox playing some blues song that Yixing recognized but couldn’t name. 

As he settled in one of the barstools, a bartender approached, asking what he’d like. He ordered a whiskey sour and waited, but he didn’t get long before the stool next to him was taken as well. 

“I don’t remember you liking whiskey,” Jongdae notes, though it didn’t stop him from ordering the same. He wasn’t surprised Jongdae had found him. He had a knack for stuff like that. 

“I remembered you liked them,” Yixing admitted, giving Jongdae a weak smile. “Thought I’d give it a try.”

Jongdae laughed, shooting Yixing a grin as he leaned forward on the bar. 

“Did Sehun stay behind?” Yixing asked, glancing back at the door, and Jongdae nodded, rolling his eyes. 

“It’s his rehearsal dinner. I’m sure he got stuck making small talk with some family members. I promised him we’d be there bright and early for pictures tomorrow.”

“Makes sense,” Yixing said, before groaning. “It’s going to be a busy day.” 

“Yes it is, but a happy one. Our little Sehun is getting hitched,” Jongdae continued, pausing as the bartender laid their drinks in front of them. “Can you believe it?” 

“No, I can’t,” Yixing answered truthfully. As long as he had known Sehun, he had never really imagined him getting married. It was just the two of them, well, three with Jongdae. He guessed that was rather silly. They were bound to grow up sometime. Sehun just beat him to the altar. 

“He’s ready, though,” Jongdae said before taking a swig of his drink. “Junmyeon is a great guy.”

“Yeah,” Yixing muttered, taking a sip of his own drink and making a face. The drink was strong, the taste of alcohol heavy on his tongue. “Is this drink always so stout?”

“Only when they are made well,” Jongdae said with a wide grin, before nudging Yixing with his elbow. “You alright?” 

“Sure,” Yixing lied, because no, he wasn’t okay. But he was going to have to be. 

“Yixing, you came to a bar,” Jongdae pointed out knowingly, and Yixing chuckled despite his best efforts. 

“Alright, I’m a mess.”

“Junmyeon?” Jongdae questioned, and Yixing shot the man a sideways glance, lifting his shoulder in a small shrug. 

“I think I love him.”

“Oh, Xing,” Jongdae whispered, and Yixing took another sip of his drink. He hated the pity in Jongdae’s voice. 

“I know, Dae, _I know._ I don’t know how it got that far.”

“I had hoped when he started hanging out with us and you saw them together, those feelings would die down,” Jongdae said, and Yixing nodded. 

“Me too.” 

He watched Jongdae chew on that knowledge for a little while, jaw clenching and relaxing. He downed his drink and ordered another for himself and one for Yixing as well. 

“I haven’t finished the first one,” Yixing protested. 

“You’ve earned a second,” Jongdae assured, sighing heavily as the bartender walked away to make their second round. “Now what?”

“Nothing,” Yixing answered. “I move on.”

“That’s what you said last time,” Jongdae reminded him, and Yixing gulped the rest of his drink down, letting the burn of alcohol travel down his throat, warm in his chest. 

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Yixing countered. 

“No,” Jongdae agreed, “I suppose not.”

They sat silently for a little while, nursing fresh whiskey sours and listening to the music on the jukebox. It was kind of nice, Yixing thought, sitting here like this. Jongdae wasn’t trying to fix anything, was just being there, and Yixing had not realized how much he needed Jongdae’s presence until that moment. 

It was Jongdae who broke the silence again, standing up from the stool and lugging Yixing up with him. Yixing wobbled dangerously, two drinks going to his head fairly quickly, and Jongdae steadied him quickly. He would probably tease Yixing endlessly tomorrow for being a lightweight, but for tonight, he let it slide. 

“Why don’t you stay with me tonight?” Jongdae fussed, straightening Yixing’s collar. “We could order a pizza.”

“We just ate dinner,” Yixing said with a snort.

“Nothing sobers you up like a pizza,” Jongdae retorted. “We can swing by your house tomorrow morning for your suit.”

Yixing wanted to protest, but one look at Jongdae told him he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He didn’t feel like fighting it too much, anyway. “I have to finish the cake in the morning, too.” 

“We will do that first thing tomorrow after we get some sleep. Just promise you won’t tell Sehun I helped decorate the icing until _after_ the wedding,” Jongdae laughed, steering them both towards the door.

“Deal,” Yixing said with a smile. 

He didn’t deserve Jongdae, but he sure did appreciate him. 

**12**

The wedding day was a blur of cake decorating, pictures, and a whole lot of social interaction. Yixing’s head throbbed for most of the morning, but by the time the ceremony was starting, he had started feeling semi-normal. 

The ceremony itself was beautiful. Sehun had cried like a baby when Junmyeon had walked down the aisle in his white tux. Yixing didn’t think anyone would blame Sehun for being emotional. Junmyeon looked very handsome, smiling ear to ear as he gazed at Sehun with so much love that Yixing could feel it flooding the room, choking him. 

Vows were exchanged, rings were placed on fingers, and a kiss sealed the deal. Sehun and Junmyeon were wed. 

Then the real party began. 

They had food and drinks, lots of dancing, and Yixing was having fun, for the most past. But before he knew it, it was his turn to give a speech. He had been dreading it all day, not only because it put him front and center, but because he was afraid his hastily written speech would be forgotten the moment he stood up. 

Regardless, when he was cued by the wedding planner, he stood up, accepting the microphone and a flute of champagne. He nearly dropped the glass, his hand shaking so badly, but he cleared his throat, and a hush fell over the crowd. 

“For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Zhang Yixing. If you do know me, it’s probably because of Sehun introducing us. If it were up to me, I would probably be hiding in a corner somewhere instead of up here making a fool of myself.” 

That earned him a soft chuckle from the wedding guests, and he pushed on, looking over at the happy couple and meeting Sehun’s gaze warmly. “I’m not good at speeches, but I couldn’t let this day go by without at least trying, so here it goes. Sehun, you are my best friend. I could not be happier to be able to stand by you on this very important day, to show you my support even if that means I have to give stupid speeches like this one.”

He turned his eyes to Junmyeon, who was smiling widely at him.

“Junmyeon,” he started, setting his lips before speaking again. “You are Sehun’s perfect match. I see the way he looks at you, and while I think Sehun is definitely out of your league,” another laugh from the crowd, as well as a pout from Sehun, “I am thankful that he found someone like you to ground him.”

Junmyeon smiled at Sehun, and Yixing watched the exchange for a moment before remembering he was supposed to be speaking into the microphone in his hand and not staring at the newlyweds. 

He cleared his throat and lifted the flute, giving a smile as he did so. “To the grooms.”

The crowd followed suit, toasting the couple, and Yixing dipped his glass before stepping back away from the spotlight. He turned to find Jongdae, who leaned over to take the mic but not before leaning over to whisper in Yixing's ear.

“You did well.”

Yixing nodded, though he felt like he had a handful of rocks in his mouth now, and stepped to the side, letting Jongdae take over. He walked over to his seat, catching Sehun’s eye as he sat down, and the other man gave him a thumbs up, mouthing _thank you_ to Yixing with a grin. 

Yixing smiles back, ignoring how his stomach churned. He did it. He was done. Another hour or so and he could leave and go home, try to get past these feelings. Though looking at Junmyeon now, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get past it fully. 

**13**

Despite the number of wedding guests being on the lower side, the dance floor looked packed, bodies swaying to the music pumping through the speakers. Yixing had found himself a quiet corner table, nursing whatever drink Jongdae had shoved in his hands. _Something fruity,_ Jongdae had told him as he passed it off. 

He had tried to sit with Yixing a little while, but Jongdae had been itching to dance, and Yixing shooed him away to join the others. He would be alright. He enjoyed the solitude, being able to sit back and observe. 

He had lost sight of Sehun and Junmyeon some time ago, which helped a little. He was happy for them, but it still hurt a little less if he didn’t have to _watch_ them at their wedding. 

The drink in his hand was cold, condensation sliding down the sides of the glass, and he took a sip of it, humming at the sweeter taste. Jongdae had done good with this one. This was definitely more to his taste than the whiskey sour last night. 

“I thought I might find you hiding.”

Yixing looked up in a daze, finding Junmyeon standing beside him. His smile was wide and giddy, skin glowing with a thin sheen of sweat from dancing. 

Breathtaking.

“I like watching better than dancing,” Yixing said with snort. “You, on the other hand, should be on the dance floor celebrating.”

“Well, I kind of need all of my friends out there to celebrate properly,” Junmyeon shot back with a knowing grin. Yixing would later blame that fruity drink for not hearing the implication of that sentence. Junmyeon wasted no time in spelling it out for him. 

“Surely you will allow me a dance on my wedding day,” Junmyeon continued, and Yixing froze at the words. 

“I don’t know, Jun,” Yixing started, shaking his head as he spoke, but Junmyeon wasn’t taking no for an answer tonight. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Junmyeon assured, plucking the drink from Yixing’s hands and gently pulling him up. “One dance, and I’ll let you sit back down, I promise.”

Yixing sighed as Junmyeon tugged him along, helpless to the other man’s wishes. 

“Fine. One dance.”

Junmyeon smiled widely at the victory, and Yixing couldn’t help but feel proud that the smile was meant only for him. 

He should have known the music would slow the minute they joined the dance floor. Junmyeon had dropped Yixing’s arm, turning to face him, and Yixing tucked his hands in his pockets, eyes on his feet. “Maybe we should wait for the song to change?”

Junmyeon, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered by the softer tempo at all, and promptly placing one hand on Yixing’s shoulder, holding his other hand out to the side. “It’ll be easier to talk to each other, this way.”

Yixing resigned to his fate, placing his hand awkwardly on Junmyeon’s waist. 

“I haven’t danced in a long time,” he muttered apologetically.

“Slow dancing is easier,” Junmyeon countered, shooting him a teasing grin. “Though I have a feeling you would be a wonderful dancer if you tried.”

Yixing rolled his eyes, but the tease helped loosen him up at little, his limbs more relaxed as he moved. 

“Have you enjoyed yourself today?” Yixing questioned, and Junymeon nodded happily.

“Yes, it has been wonderful. Though I think Sehun has enjoyed all of the extra attention more than I have.”

“Sehun would be happy if a spot light was on him constantly,” Yixing said with a laugh, and he beamed when Junmyeon joined in on the laughter.

“You are right about that,” Junmyeon agreed. “Right now, he is probably still boasting to some group of family members about how he had managed to book this place single-handedly. I can’t believe I trusted his judgement with something so important for the wedding, but he did well, I’d say.”

“Jongdae probably helped more than we think,” Yixing whispered, and Junmyeon chuckled again, head falling forward in mirth.

“I’ll have to find Jongdae later and thank him for his good taste.”

They swayed quietly for a moment, Yixing taking in the moment. It was surreal, dancing like this. Yixing was surprised how much he liked it. Though he was sure his dance partner was the reason for that. 

Yixing’s hands were clammy in the other’s grip, but Junmyeon didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he wasn’t bothered. 

“I wanted to thank you for today, too,” Junmyeon said then, meeting Yixing’s gaze. “Well, not just for today, but for all of the work you’ve put into making mine and Sehun’s day special.”

“It’s nothing,” Yixing replied, “The cake is the easy part.”

“Not just the cake,” Junmyeon corrected. “This whole year has seemed like a blur, and I am so happy that you and Jongdae accepted me into your group of three so quickly. I know the bond you all share is very precious, and it can be tough to welcome another, but you did.”

He squeezed Yixing’s hand gently, as if to emphasize his next words. “I didn’t just gain a husband, I gained you and Jongdae as my friends, as well, and you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you, as a person.”

Yixing smiled softly, ignoring the pain in his chest as he did so. _Friend_ , his mind repeated, because that was all they were ever going to be. He was going to get used to that, eventually. It was better to have Junmyeon in his life somehow, as opposed to not at all.

“I appreciate you too, Junmyeon. And Sehun. You both are very… special to me.”

If only Junmyeon knew how true his words really were. 

The moment was interrupted by a tap on Yixing’s shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?”

Yixing turned to greet Sehun, dropping Junmyeon’s hand as he did so. Sehun was smiling brightly at him, but Yixing suddenly felt guilty, as if his thoughts had been written all over his expression. 

Junmyeon, however, saw the opportunity to tease his new husband a little. “I don’t know if I’ll let you steal me away. Yixing is a pretty good dancer.”

Sehun pouted dramatically, protesting as both Yixing and Junmyeon laughed, though Yixing was still reeling at Junmyeon’s compliment. The music changed then, picking up speed, and Yixing sent Junmyeon a soft smile. 

“We had agreed to one dance,” he reminded the other as he reached out to pat Sehun on the shoulder. “My time seems to be up.”

“I’m surprised Junmyeon could get you out of your chair,” Sehun chuckled. “He has that effect on people though.”

“He sure does,” Yixing agreed, giving Junmyeon one more smile. “Thank you for the dance.”

“Anytime,” Junmyeon replied happily. Before Yixing could step away, Sehun pulled him from Junmyeon and into a tight embrace. 

“Thanks, Xing, for everything,” he said in a low voice, and Yixing could hear the edge of emotion in his voice, even if he was doing a good job at hiding it. Sehun was deeply happy, more than Yixing had ever seen. Yixing returned the embrace just as fiercely before pulling back, both of them a little misty-eyed. 

“Go have fun,” Yixing encouraged, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’ll be over here if you need me.”

Sehun grinned as he nodded, stepping over to hold out his hand to Junmyeon, who took it willingly. The two of them hardly noticed Yixing slipping away back to his chair, which was a good thing. Yixing wanted to go back to being invisible. 

He watched them dance from his seat, catching glimpses of them through the crowd, seeing their adoring looks and laughing gazes. And all the while, Yixing couldn’t help but feel the heavy sense of acceptance. Weddings were a new beginning, but this day was a closed door for Yixing.

This was the end. The end of his and Junmyeon’s story. They were never meant for each other. Their paths would never cross, at least not romantically. 

That thought kept coming to his mind all through the rest of the night. Each moment was an ending, and only an ending, to a story that never truly even started. And now, all of the hopes Yixing had were gone, looking at Junmyeon and lamenting what could have been. 

The story of _them_ had never even started, but he was going to have to learn to put that chapter past him. It wasn’t his story to tell, anymore. It was Sehun’s. 

As the happy couple departed the wedding, guests sending them off with well wishes, Jongdae found Yixing.

“You ready?” Jongdae asked, and Yixing’s body longed to stay in his chair. Leaving meant he really did have to face reality. Leaving meant leaving his love for Junmyeon behind.

“Yeah,” Yixing stated finally, smiling sadly up at Jongdae as he stood. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jongdae gave him a knowing look, a mixture between a smile and a grimace, and patted him on the back. “It’s going to be alright, you know.”

“I know,” Yixing said softly. “I’ll be okay.”

And he would be. One day. But tonight wasn’t that day. 

No, tonight, he was going to grieve. He was going to feel sorry for himself, alone in his own bed. He was going to wallow in the _what if_ s. 

But tomorrow, he was going to finally let this all go. For the good of the group. And for the good of Sehun and Junmyeon, who he knew would be back from their honeymoon in a short week’s time. He was going to be a better friend, and _only_ a friend.

Weddings were new beginnings, after all. 

Yixing just had to find a new beginning that didn’t involve Junmyeon.


End file.
